3 Habits that Destroy your Confidence

habits-that-destroy-your-confidence

Speaking, moving, and doing everything with confidence is the key to success in many areas of your life. For that reason, it is important to avoid habits that kill your confidence. Find out with us what those are and how you can fix those habits.

Being Shy , Apologetic and Unconcise while Speaking

“Uhh… T-t-t-trust me, I am sorry, but ehm… I think you are wrong. It is just my opinion, do not get me wrong please, … you know what I mean?”

That is an example of an insecure way of talking. Now let us break apart what exactly is so bad about it. First of all, stuttering is never good, it shows that you are not used to speaking or just are not confident in what you say.

Also do not use filler words such as “uh, hmm, ehm, like”. They make you appear to be uncertain.

Then why are you apologizing? Is it something you need to do? Some situations might require you to apologize. But talking about your honest opinion on a certain matter does not require you to apologize.

You repeat yourself in the same sentence and ask your partner not to misunderstand you. That is just another sign of being insecure.

Asking your conversation partner if they know what you mean shows a lack of confidence in the topic you are talking about.

"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself."

You can ALWAYS prepare your thoughts before communicating. Do not rush to answer, take your time, and embrace the silence. When you finally have gathered your thoughts, speak up with confidence. Know what you are talking about.

Finally, be confident about the topic you are talking about. Hold eye contact, and do not forget that your body language speaks a lot for itself during communication. In a face-to-face conversation, it is a crucial part of how your conversation partner will interpret you.

So now you might be asking yourself, how should I formulate that particular sentence in a better way? Here is how: “In my opinion (talk about your opinion).” That is it, very simple, concise, no apologies (as it is not your job to worry how your conversation partner will feel about what has been said), now it is up to your partner to keep the conversation rolling.

I know those things are easier said than done. Do not worry if you fail, do not worry if a conversation does not go the intended way. Learn and keep improving. Confidence does not come out of nowhere. Successful and charming people that are used to talking to a crowd or having amazing one-to-one conversations like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Hemsworth, and many others did not master it overnight.

Most importantly be yourself, and be truthful to what you say. You do not need to please everyone. Speak up your mind while still being respectful.

Being aware of these conversational habits can help you come off and be more confident. If you want to know more about improving your communication, I suggest you check out our post here.

Moving Sloppy and without Confidence

I am sure every single one of you has this one friend who walks into the room and captivates everyone with their presence. Now that is not our aim. We aim to ensure you walk with confidence to a party, to a meeting, on a date, or just out on the street.

There are a few things you can do to boost your confidence. Let us get straight into them.

Keep a good posture. Do not walk slouching and with an arched back. Straighten up, show pridefully your chest, eyes on to your audience or while walking straight in front of you. A good posture does not only make you appear more confident but also helps you feel more confident.

Walk with intention. Imagine seeing a guy with baggy pants and an oversized shirt walking elegantly as if he was wearing a suit to a meeting. It does not match, does it? Your walk has to match your style and the occasion.

Take smooth, purposeful strides. Avoid rushing. While walking, engage your core muscles and swing your arms naturally. It can first feel unnatural, but you will get used to it. 

Make eye contact. Now, I am not telling you to stare. Keep eye contact for a few seconds while walking, smile, and move on. Looking people in the eyes while speaking or walking (it is not even necessary while walking, just make sure you look in front of you) is a sign of confidence and attentiveness.

Practice power poses. These can help you increase your confidence and reduce your feelings of stress. The only thing you want to make sure of is to never adapt weak poses. These will lower your confidence, reduce testosterone, and increase your cortisol levels.

Not taking Care of Yourself

self-care

It might not be very obvious at first, but taking care of yourself affects your confidence, your testosterone, how others perceive you, and ultimately your mental health.

Self-care is a broad term. My goal of this post is not to teach you everything about self-care, but to help you realize mistakes you might be making, that destroy your confidence.

First of all, we all have those days where we feel too lazy to take a shower, groom before going out, “do your hair” or look good before going out. That should not be the case. Take care of yourself, no matter where you go. Go that extra mile to make sure you look and smell amazing.

People will notice that. Not just because you went that extra mile but also because it will make you feel better about yourself. I know it, you know it, looking good and smelling good is a confidence boost.

Take care of your health by working out, staying fit, and eating healthy. Drop unhealthy habits such as smoking and drinking. In general, do not do drugs. 

Conclusion

By avoiding these habits and taking care of yourself, paying attention to how you speak and move you will be and feel more confident. Do not rush things, nothing was built overnight. The same goes for your confidence. It is not something that can be built overnight.

"It always seems impossible until it is done."

Being confident is important for various things in life, such as achieving goals, overcoming challenges, having a positive outlook, your mental health, and many more.

You will be able to stand out during job interviews or presentations. Your crush might finally notice you. Your mental health will improve. You will be more confident in your skills. Your relationships will benefit from it. Challenges will be much easier to overcome. So do not belittle the importance of being confident and start today step by step to become the best version of yourself. Thank you for reading.

Table of Contents

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